The Lisbon Thing
I’ve held back from writing / commenting on the upcoming Lisbon referendum up to now. It seems to stir up lots of strong emotion in people. Many of the Yes voters seem to be very intolerant of the No voters, and vice versa. Seemingly perfectly good friends are falling out over their differing views on the treaty.
To bring a lighter touch to the event, I refer you to this – a view of what life might be like 25 years into the future if we chose to reject the Lisbon treaty again. This is from TCD’s student newspaper Trinity News. A summary is as follows –
- The twenties were a boom period – Celtic Tiger part 2.
- We Irish folks need a work permit to work in Europe, given that our double rejection of the treaty caused us to be booted out of Europe.
- The EF (that’s the European Federation) is embracing third world war activities with Iran. Barroso and Ahmadineejad are at the forefront. Paris has been bombed. The implication is that we are thankfully not part of this warfare having been turfed out because of the double Lisbon.
- The Labour Gov of 2018 abolished corporation tax (implication being that they could not have done this if we remained in Europe).
- Britain continue to be our most prominent trading partner, having also turned her back on Europe.
- When we got our Europe marching orders, we reacted by asking our foreign immigrants to leave. Result – Starbucks are now staffed by Deirdres
- We’re very open to all things American, given that France and Spain etc are off limits
- The Irish language is to the fore and a bilingual system is more real. Even the tourists are making the effort to speak it, the Americans, Japanese and Indians, that is. The continental Europeans don’t come here much anymore.
- College Green is pedestrianised and doubles as a fish-market. Fish is back on the market now that we dont have to obey European fishing quotas. This has had a positive impact on the west coast as fishing villages are revitalised.
- Padraig Harrington has a street named after him (I’m not sure of the European angle on this one).
- Dame Street has multimedia billboards telling (literally) us all about commercial bits and bobs.
- TCD front arch has a metal detector. (Maybe this is a TCD thing, not a European one)
- Students are charged a 1£N (note that we dropped the Euro) in late fees each time they are late to class. (Do we have to wait 25 years to implement this one?)
- There’s a statue of Bertie Ahearn on Merrion Square.
- The authors first class of the morning – “What would life be like if Ireland had accepted the Lisbon Treaty that time back in 2009”.
The piece is imaginative and well-written. In fact, the entire newspaper has a professionalism that its student staff can be proud of. I might not agree with all the viewpoints expressed but all seem to be thoughtful and well-researched. There’s a reason this newspaper has won top student newspaper for 2 years running.
Here’s to 2 more!